


Love All

by Lilsi



Category: The Bill
Genre: Crack Fic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-04-20
Packaged: 2018-01-20 03:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1495096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsi/pseuds/Lilsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two old birds discuss a couple playing tennis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love All

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was once posted at Craiggilmore.co.uk a fan site no longer active, so to preserve this story and others, I am importing them to AO3. I did not want the loss of such a large amount of amazing and wonderful fanfiction, it would be such a waste to fans of Craig Gilmore and Luke Ashton to not have the opportunity to enjoy these stories as i have. Since the site is no longer active i have been unable to contact the creators but if you happen to be them under a new pen name and want the fiction to be removed please send me a note!
> 
> Story written by - Alex
> 
> Written for the CraigGilmore 10 word's Challenge

 

“Coo, funny old birds aren't they?” Collard greeted Walter when the young, grey plumaged cock arrived on his branch one hot, sunny, summer lunchtime.

 

“Hoo-mans?” Walter asked as he hastily straightened his feathers.

 

Collard nodded his head in the direction of the tennis courts.  “Those two-oo were under my tree earlier, billing and cooing like you wouldn't believe...”

 

“Oo?”  Walter tracked the flight of the small, yellow, fuzzy covered, hollow rubber ball with his beady eyes.  He wasn't especially interested in the mating habits of others but he did want Collard to keep talking – he loved the sound of his dove friend's tuneful warbling.

 

“Oo-er more like!” Collard corrected with a knowing blink.

 

“So-oo?”

 

“Touching wings, rubbing their beaks too-gether.” Collard stretched his own wings, tentatively letting one trail down Walter's back.

 

“Ooh good,” Walter coo-ed.  A shaft of sunlight, piercing through the deep leaf canopy above their heads, shone on the silver ring fastened round his leg as he moved closer, and began to stroke his beak through Collard's soft, buff pink, breast feathers.

 

“Woo-hoo...” Collard called softly as he puffed himself up proudly, nibbling a little at Walter's neck.

 

“Woo-hoo!” Walter cried more raucously as they took off together into the sky.

 

...

 

Luke screwed his eyes up against the sun's glare and hesitated, his arm drawn back behind his head, waited till the pair of mismatched love birds had flown over, then tossed the ball he was holding high into the air and swung his racquet, aiming deep into Craig's service area.

 

“Out!” Craig called, pushing his sweat dampened hair back out of his eyes.

 

“That ball was IN!” Luke shouted, grinning.

 

“Out!” Craig said determinedly as he turned round and started towards his line.

 

“In!” Luke pouted.

 

Craig stopped and walked back to the net, beckoning Luke to join him. “That ball,” he said, a steely glint coming into his eye. “Was, Out.”

 

“In out, in out, shake it all about,” Luke chanted, smiling broadly now.

 

“Maybe later... “ Craig smirked as he leant across the net and took Luke by the shoulders.  “If you're a good boy NOW and admit that ball was out.”

 

“What will that make the score if I do?” Luke frowned.

 

“Deuce still.  If you get the next point that will be 'advantage' to you.”

 

“Great!” Luke beamed as he gazed up into Craig's tanned face.  “I love taking advantage of you!”

 

“I love you taking advantage of me too.” Craig bent his head and kissed Luke's cheek, licking his lips at the faint tang of salt. “But FIRST you've got to get the point!” He jogged back into position, laughing.

 

Luke snatched his towel from where it had fallen on ground by the net, wiped his face and hung it back on the green painted post before making his way slowly to his baseline. 

 

“So, is that another ball in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?” Craig called as Luke served again.

 

“Cheat!” Luke spluttered, swiping at the empty air in front of him

 

“Advantage to me I think then!” Craig winked, prowling towards the net.

 

“Oh yeah?” Luke laughed, running full tilt towards him, hurdling the barrier between them and flinging himself into Craig's outstretched arms.

 

...

 

Collard peeled away from his joyous low level aerial acrobatics just before he rammed into the ground, and instead landed lightly beside a red tartan blanket that had been laid out on the grass near his tree.

 

 

“Yoo-hoo,” he called after the rapidly disappearing shape of his new mate Walter, who turned and flapped deceptively quickly back to his side.

 

“Oo?” Walter was feeling peckish after their little encounter and was glad to find bread and cake crumbs scattered all about.

 

“Told you...” Collard bobbed his head towards the wriggling pink toes of the men relaxing in the shade.”

 

“Oo-er.” Walter trilled, blinking a little in surprise.

 

...

 

Luke slid his hand out from beneath his lover's t-shirt and groped around on the grass behind him, reluctant to stop kissing Craig.  His fingers found what he was looking for and he lobbed the ball, missing the pigeons at their feet by a good six inches.  “Bugger off birds,” he growled.


End file.
